


Unholy Matrimony

by GuineapigQueen



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14880174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: Craig and Tweek have been engaged forever. What happens when they break off their engagement?(It’s happy I swear!)





	Unholy Matrimony

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blame Canada (OneHitWondersAnonymous)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHitWondersAnonymous/gifts).



> Written as a birthday gift for my lovely friend @Blame Canada. Big love to you ❤️

Craig and Tweek have been together forever, or at least since they were ten. Sure, it’s not real dating when you’re ten; they mostly just held hands, swapped notes, and hugged each other a lot. 

The thing is though, that when they started to grow up they didn’t split up like everybody thought they would. Even Craig thought that they eventually might, but to his surprise, the relationship grew with them. 

When they were about ten or eleven, early into the relationship at least - Craig proposed to Tweek in that way that children do. With a ring pop at recess and sticky hands - Cartman “married” them in the playground and Craig kissed Tweek on the cheek for the first time ever. 

That was the first time marriage became associated with them, even if it was only play.

As they got older they realised that they weren’t “really” married, but marriage was kind of expected of them. 

Which Craig thought was a weird thing to try to push on the gay couple, as opposed to say, Bebe and Clyde who had also been dating since forever. 

Craig thought that Tweek might have only been staying with him because of the pressure placed on them by the town, but there was definitely something there. Something deeper than expectations and being pushed together by outside forces. Craig genuinely wanted to stay with Tweek, but he wasn’t about to force Tweek to stay with him out of obligation. 

Teenage Tweek made it pretty clear that he was staying of his own volition when he kissed Craig first - with tongue too. 

Craig waited for the other shoe to drop, for Tweek to get sick of him and leave. But it never did, Craig never got sick of Tweek either. Not really, they sometimes got sick of each other and argued, but never enough to break up with one another. 

He sometimes thought about what it might be like to be with someone else, but never long enough to linger. There was just something about Tweek that Craig couldn’t live without, something he just knew nobody else was going to have. 

It made his sarcastic, jaded heart laugh sometimes, who meets their person at ten years old, and of all people, him? 

He never really bought into that soulmates stuff until they were about sixteen and Craig realised just how deeply he was in love. Much deeper than a sixteen year old should be able to be, he was sure, it was a feeling that transcended what his immature brain was able to comprehend. It all felt so much bigger than him, a love that could encompass the universe twice over - he wasn’t going anywhere.

He proposed to Tweek at eighteen, right after graduation and right before they moved out for college together. Because that’s what you do, right? When you love someone, you ask them to marry you, after eight years you seal the deal. It felt right at the time and Tweek had said yes without hesitation. 

The only thing Craig regrets is that they put it on Facebook almost straight away. 

Craig’s parents paid for them to have a professional engagement photoshoot and the Tweak’s paid for a big party. Nobody seemed to stop for a minute and say, hey these kids are only eighteen. Which in retrospect Craig doesn’t understand, if Clyde had done what he did, Craig would definitely have told him to maybe slow down. Eight years as kids doesn’t have the same gravitas as eight years as adults. 

When the circus died down, after too many photos of Craig wine-drunk were circulated over Facebook - they realised they really couldn’t afford a wedding. 

If you can afford a wedding at eighteen you’ve probably got rich parents who often lend you their credit cards. Tweek’s parents were much better off than Craig’s, but they weren’t on a pay-for-a-wedding level. People were also expecting fabulousness, extravagance and over the top ceremony for the town's most beloved couple. A long engagement was the only solution Craig and Tweek really had.

And they just kind of… procrastinated. Five years passed, eight, ten. 

They still hadn’t set a date, Craig wasn’t sure he could be bothered with the whole thing anymore. 

But Tweek, Tweek worked in wedding planning, as if Tweek wouldn’t want a fairytale of his own. People were bugging them about it too, they’d been bugging them since they got engaged but Craig had kind of hoped they’d forget as time passed. 

They didn’t.

Craig was scrolling through his phone mindlessly when he walked in the door of their apartment. It was small and kind of cluttered but it was theirs.   
Another excuse to delay the wedding - “Having a place to settle down is more important Mom.” 

Tweek himself was home but he was working, which wasn’t unusual, seeing as wedding season was in full swing and he was up to his ears in booking venues and floral arrangement. Just tedious shit Craig couldn’t imagine anyone having the time for, let alone doing as a job. 

Tweek was one of those rare people who can do numbers and creativity - he’d used it to build a pretty thriving business. Craig was a researcher for a university lab - Tweek was the main breadwinner of the household. 

Tweek didn’t actually hear him come in, which again, wasn’t uncommon as he was most probably on the phone trying to book somebody’s in demand dream venue or yelling at a caterer for messing up some cake detail. 

Craig couldn’t understand how Tweek did that everyday, but Tweek claimed he loved it. 

He stops in the hallway before even making it to Tweek to say hello when he looks at the memory on his newsfeed. 

“On this day - ten years ago” and photos from his and Tweek’s engagement party.

There were so many comments. Way too many for Craig to even consider reading straight after work. He puts his phone to sleep, groans and continues down the hallway to his hard working fiancé.

“Babe,” he says, observing Tweek who has covered their entire dining table with papers, mood boards and binders. Tweek looks up at him suddenly, he looks frazzled but he always does during wedding season. “Babe, our engagement party was ten years ago today.”

“Ah, was it?” He says, sounding a little dazed.

“Yep, and hello,” he says leaning in for a kiss.

“Hello,” Tweek replies and gives his lips a light peck. “I didn’t even remember, sorry man.”

“No, I forgot too. We’ve been engaged for a really long time,” he muses, watching Tweek intently for some kind of reaction.

Tweeks shoulders drop a little and he lets out a long, audible sigh.

“Yeah I’ve been meaning to -ah- talk to you about that” he says, fiddling with his hands nervously. Craig doesn’t really want to have this conversation, but ten years is a lot of time to have put it off.

“Yeah?” Craig says, trying to sound nonchalant but he really doesn’t.

It’s not that Craig wants to split up with Tweek, he never wants that, but something about getting married doesn’t feel right anymore. 

It doesn’t feel like them. 

It’s not that getting married would change much but it’s an added pressure he doesn’t want. He likes them exactly how they are. But Tweek plans weddings for a living, how could Craig even try to take away Tweek’s own. 

God, he’s going to be so mad.

“You wanna just like, call the whole thing -hnn- off?” Tweek says casually. He mostly just sounds tired, not upset or angry. Craigs eyes widen in surprise.

“Really?” Craig asks. “Is- is that what you want?”

“I mean, only if you want to. If you want to we still can, maybe we could just go to the courthouse and-” Tweek rambles.

Oh God, he thinks he’s upsetting Craig. 

“What, no, I’m fine,” Craig cuts in, “I just, I thought you really wanted this big extravagant thing. Weddings are kinda your whole life, I thought you’d have a ton of dreams for your own?”

“Exactly man! I’m surrounded by them. I’m -nnn- sick of them, I’ll plan other people’s, but my -ah- own? No way!” Tweek waves his arms around hysterically as he talks. Craig can’t help but smirk, he loves this stupid idiot.

“So you wanna, just… not?” Craig says with a shrug.

“Yeah, if you’re okay with it. I mean, you -nghh- proposed to me so like, I can -hnn- un-propose if you want?” Tweek asks. 

Craig closes the space between them by pulling Tweek into a warm, loving hug. 

“Tweek, I’d love to be your not-husband,” he says sincerely.

“Me too dude, me too,” Tweek replies.

“We waited ten years just to get un-engaged,” Craig says as they both burst into laughter.

“Oh man,” Tweek says, grinning like an idiot “Our parents are gonna be so mad.”

///

Craig Tucker - with Tweek Tweak  
Tweek and I would like to announce our un-engagement. Sorry guys but the Tucker-Tweak wedding is cancelled!

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends:)


End file.
